I’ve had great friends and I’ve lost great friends.
Frankly, I’m thankful I still have friends because, for as long as I can remember, I have always been brutally honest. I’ve never been one to sugarcoat anything, and I’ve been called a bitch and an asshole on more than one occasion because of it. If you’re getting on my nerves, I will tell you. If you ask me if I think your shirt looks good with your pants and I don’t think it does, I will tell you. If your boyfriend is a jerk and I think you can do better, I will politely say, “You can do better, but if you’re happy, then that’s all that matters.” I wouldn’t say I have zero filter; I’m not a monster. But beating around the bush is a waste of time, and I won’t do it.
I don’t love confrontation, but I am also not afraid of it. I think that in order to really become friends with someone, you have to allow yourself to cross that boundary and tell them how it is. No one is perfect, and just because I’m being blunt with you doesn’t mean I think I’m better than you. In fact, some of my best friends are the ones who can be just as honest with me, as I am them.
In defense of myself and others out there who choose to be the brutally honest friend, here are five reasons I will always be brutally honest:
1. When I’m always honest, I don’t have to worry about whether or not I lied in the past.
If, one day, we’re having an honest conversation about your boyfriend and I tell you he’s just OK, then you remind me that three weeks ago I said he was amazing, I will cry. I hate having to explain myself when I know I may have stretched the truth or straight-up lied. Getting caught in a lie is the worst. It’s hard to keep track of every white lie you tell, but if you’re always honest, then you don’t have to.
2. I want my friends to be honest with me.
Sometimes it’s hard to be honest with yourself, so it’s nice when friends can do it for you. If I’m dating someone who cheated on me, and I’m ignoring all the signs and making excuses for him, then yes, I absolutely want you to tell me.
Will it suck? Sure. But I don’t want to look like an idiot. At least if you tell me how ridiculous I’m being, then it will hopefully be the slap in the face I need to face the reality of the situation.
3. Friendships aren’t real unless you’re being honest with each other.
Some people hate confrontation, and that kind of goes hand in hand with being brutally honest fairly often.
Confrontation can be awkward and uncomfortable, but I think friendships grow stronger when you’re able to get through it and move on. If you have friends who are always telling you what you want to hear, that’s great. But are they the people you can call on when you really need some advice?
4. You asked my opinion.
If you ask me what I think about your outfit, I assume you want me to be honest. Otherwise, don’t ask me. If I don’t like it and I think you look like you’re trying to be 16 when you’re actually 26, I will tell you. This is actually when I come in handy because you can believe me when I say you look great.
5. Being honest doesn’t mean I don’t support you.
At the end of the day, I know my friends are going to live their life regardless of what I have to say. I’m not expecting them to hear everything I say and agree with it. I will support them in whatever makes them happy.
I just choose to be the honest all the time one, so they will (hopefully) trust my opinion when it really matters. Beating around the bush is a waste of time, and I won’t do it.