It took me maybe 3 tries to get the title of this post right because I genuinely can’t believe 2018 is ending. This year flew by and it feels like nothing happened, yet everything happened at the same time.
I know I’ve written learning lessons in the past, and trust me, I’ve learned A LOT of major ones over the years, but this past year has been incredibly eye-opening for me. I’ve learned a lot about who I am and what I want. About what I’m willing to put up with and what I’m not willing to let slide. I made major strides in figuring out what I want my future to look like and, after years of setbacks and struggles, I think I’ve made huge moves to get closer to that end goal.
In order to keep moving forward, there’s a few things I know I can’t bring with me into the New Year. There are a few things that have been holding me back and I can pinpoint as the reason why I’m only on the way to where I want to be but quite not there yet.
- People who don’t support me. Over the past year I’ve learned the difference between people who genuinely support you and those who are just along for the ride. There’s a key difference between the two and I think it’s important to focus on the former rather than the latter. The people who support you are the ones who make an effort to see you, ask about how you’re doing and know what your goals are. They want to see you happy and check in to make sure you’re headed that way or ask how they can help if you’re not. They’re not the people who only check in once in a while when they see you have something good going on. The people who support you are the ones there in the good and the bad. I’ve learned that the people you surround yourself are key to what your life looks like and how you ultimately act as a result. Having positive people around can make a major impact. Those are the only ones I want in my life in 2019.
- Feeling like I’m not good enough. I think a lot of people can probably relate to this. Full disclosure, I spent a lot of 2018 feeling this way. I sought validation at work that I wasn’t getting. I sought relationships I knew were destined to fail. I tried for things that just didn’t work out. And in retrospect, it all kind of worked out even though I couldn’t see it at the time. Closing out 2019 I’m really looking forward to starting a new work opportunity. I left the one that wasn’t fulfilling and found a new one that I’m really excited about. I’m cutting off the people who don’t value me and my time. I think a lot of us look outside ourselves for validation that actually comes from within. And, I can confidently say that going into 2019 I finally figured that out.
- Procrastination. I put off everything. Work, school work, calling friends, doing laundry, dishes and getting my car inspected. I procrastinate everything. I’ve kind of always been this way and made the excuse that I’m better under pressure. But, to be honest, that’s 100% bullshit. I just don’t want to do the things I have to. I’ve always been the kind of person to do things in my own time. This past year I realized that “my time” wasn’t always efficient. Moving into 2019 I’m working harder to do better. To stop putting everything off and get things done.
I’m sure there are more things I should leave behind in 2018 but let’s remember that major changes take baby steps. I’ve tried the whole “make big changes” thing in the past and it doesn’t work for me. Too much too soon and I’m destined to fail. So I think this is a good place to start and if you have any suggestions feel free to leave a comment and LMK.