In a few weeks, I turn 31. It feels like I just turned 30 yesterday, in fact, every year seems to be flying by faster and faster. I know that’s something everyone says when you’re young but it doesn’t register until you really hit that third decade of life.
An annual tradition, I’m reflecting back on my life as another birthday rolls around and thinking about where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to be. Everyone always says, “30 felt so old when I was 16 or 17”, and it’s so true — it did. When you’re a teen, you are so naive and have no idea that you don’t wake up one night in your twenties and have your life together, tons of money in your bank account, a stable relationship, etc. Having all that actually takes a lot of work and the timeline of it will be different for everyone. Some people knew exactly what they wanted to do and who they were meant to be at 18 and are living that life today. Then there are others, myself included, who are kind of sure where they’re going but still nailing down the details. Some are even starting back at square one — and that’s okay.
Depending on where you grew up, everyone had a different idea of what would lie ahead for them in life. Whether you grew up in a city wanting to be a Broadway star, the suburbs determined to go to the college of your dreams, or a Midwest hoping to take over the family farm one day, it can be scary to wake up one day and realize you’re not there yet. For me, it was realizing I was single at 30 in the middle of a pandemic with no idea where I wanted to live and feeling like I was on a hamster wheel at work. I partially blame the isolation that came with 2020 (admittedly, I didn’t completely hate it because I’m a loner at heart) but I found myself in a darker and darker place. Coming to terms with and accepting the timing of my life has been so important for my health and happiness, but that didn’t happen until very recently.
In all this ✨reflection✨ I’ve learned a few things. Here’s the spark notes version. 👇
⚡️ You’re responsible for your life. You can change it any time. You can pick a new path. It’s scary, but you can.
⚡️ Not everyone’s life is what it looks like on social media. I will talk all day about social media and how I think it can be so triggering and unhealthy for people but that’s a story for another day. If you compare your life to who someone is on social media, you’re going to end up in endless competition with a make-believe reality.
⚡️ I truly believe there’s a right time for everything and if you rush it, you’ll regret it. It’s so hard to see other people getting new jobs, moving into new places, checking off life events that you want but don’t have yet — it really is. When you trust that you’re where you’re meant to be, it’s a little easier and you find you’re able to truly be happy for everyone else around you. Celebrating someone else’s win doesn’t take anything away from you.
⚡️ Life’s timeline looks different for everyone. Some are short. Some are long. Some are incredibly bumpy. Some smooth. Some with lots of new chapters. No one knows what tomorrow will bring so try not to put so much worry into what your life looks like today. Do the best you can, do what you need to do to be where you want to be, and trust the process.
⚡️ Someone wants what you have. You don’t have a house and wish you did by now? Someone’s drowning in their payments or wishing they weren’t tied to a mortgage. Wish you had a job that was a little more glamorous? Someone who has that job is probably wishing they could spend more time with their family. Envious of someone’s relationship on Instagram? They might be wishing they spent more time seeing what else was out there. There was a meme back in 2017 or something that said “The grass is greener because they used a filter” and if that’s not the most accurate thing ever then I don’t know what is. We’re only seeing what people want to show and share with us, which is really only half the story most of the time.
⚡️ The only guarantee in life is that it’s short. We only have so many years to do the things we want to do and be who we want to be. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone else or just speeding up your life to get to the next step, you’ll miss it.