In order to really be happy, you just need to learn to let things go. Dwelling on something that happened in the past will only hinder your chance for happiness in the future. Holding on to things that no longer fulfill you only limits the possibility for new people and opportunities to come in to your life. Start letting things go and you can thank me later.
If you don’t know where to begin, here are 13 things you should learn to let go of:
1. Unfulfilling Relationships
Sometimes we hold on to relationships longer than we should. If something is no longer fulfilling you or adding value to your life, what’s the point in making effort to hold on to it? You should consider dropping the dead weight. Learn more about the people you should let go of here.
2. The idea that you need to live up to other people’s standards instead of your own.
At the end of the day, you are the only one who has to live with yourself. Who cares what other people think? They’re not living your life — you are. Don’t waste valuable time trying to please anyone but yourself.
3. Relationships that hurt you and you didn’t grow from.
Relationships end for a reason. Maybe it was your decision, maybe it wasn’t. Regardless of how it ended, it still ended. Dwelling on past relationships doesn’t allow you to move on with future ones. It’s almost impossible to have healthy relationships if you’re still thinking about how you’ve been hurt in the past. Forgive, forget and move on.
4. Feeling sorry for yourself.
People who feel sorry for themselves are the worst. Spoiler alert: You’re not the only one with problems. Everyone has bad days. As soon as you realize you can change your circumstances if you put in a little effort, you will (hopefully) reap the rewards of your hard work.
5. Focusing on your flaws.
Insecurities affect everyone, even Beyoncé. It’s easy to look in the mirror and pinpoint all the things you want to change. We’re all guilty of this. As hard as it may be, the sooner you learn to accept yourself for who you are, the sooner you’ll be able to really be confident and happy.
6. Making excuses for everything.
There will never be the perfect time for anything. Stop telling yourself you will go to the gym tomorrow because it’s raining today, or look for a new job when you have time. We make time for the things that are important to us. Re-evaluate your priorities, and if there is something you really want to accomplish, stop making excuses and just do it.
7. Being afraid to say no.
We live in a world where everyone is saying yes to everything from requests from your boss or co-workers, to plans you don’t actually want to go to. We’re getting burnt out doing things that don’t even make us happy. Learn how to say no and you will find yourself with a lot of extra time to do the things you enjoy.
There’s really no point in being jealous. If someone has the fit body you wish you had, then go to the gym. If you’re single and wish you had a boyfriend, then get out there and meet people. If you can’t help but hate the girl who goes on the amazing trips you wish you were taking, then save your money and plan your own vacation. You control your life and being jealous will only foster negativity and resentment.
9. The idea that good fortune to be handed to you.
It’s highly unlikely someone is going to gift you a million dollars for no reason or your dream job offer is going to literally fall into your inbox. We all wish for those kinds of things, but the chances of them happening are slim to none. You have to work for what you want and actively create the life you want to be living.
The literal definition of regret is “a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.” The key words here are “has happened” and “been done.” No matter how hard you try and how many times you make a wish at 11:11 pm, you cannot change the past. Think of regrets as lessons learned, and make an effort to do better in the future.
Don’t waste any of your energy thinking about someone who wronged you. You either forgive and move forward with your relationship or you don’t forgive and just move on.
12. The idea that a relationship, a vacation, new clothes, etc. will make you happy.
Everyone says “money can’t buy happiness.” While it can buy instant gratification, it won’t buy you any long-term happiness. Even if you get a new pair of shoes, there will always be a new pair you want more. Even if a relationship can make you feel less alone, another person shouldn’t be the reason you’re happy. Happiness comes from the inside out, not the other way around.
Judging someone else is only a reflection on yourself. How other people choose to live their lives has absolutely nothing to do with you. There is nothing to be gained by judging someone else, so just don’t do it.